Usages submitted by tomcoates

April 2016

"The street was full of gibbering postergans in search of nearby bars in which they could drink away the stench of their labour."

April 2016

"This underheterowise example simply does not stand out enough from the other examples that the team have supplied."

April 2016

"The unlunant mist wrapped itself around the gas lamps, creating the impression of a malevolence to the gloaming."

April 2016

"As his car careered towards the cliff he felt a sudden symmory, as if he and death were lovers suddenly crushed into one being."

April 2016

"Although he was expecting a thousand soldiers he was confronted by an expeditionary force that was entirely unmillful. "

April 2016

"While the speaker was eloquent, the alien's spiraling ventral flutes and low-grade humming were all part of an outvervcy that communicated a depth of emotion and feeling beyond that of any human orator."

April 2016

"Like some kind of atheist church, the Afidory of Professor Dawkins was a quiet place of reflection in which recognition of a higher cosmic power was never even considered. Instead a quiet respect for evidence and logical argument ruled absolutely."

April 2016

"As he sat in the yurt, the LSD kicked in, opening his mind to a cosmic vision that he associated with the hemideiate or the demigod."

April 2016

"The enfamious man sat quietly in the chattering crowd of Congress. "

April 2016

"For a while he thought the mute had a developmental problem or had suffered a brain trauma, but it was only when she loomed towards him, mouth wide and drooling, that he realized she was entirely ilglotish."

April 2016

"Just because he was now merely a brain did not mean he could not suffer from a low grade Inagia - the bodily consequence of always being absolutely still in his tank."

April 2016

"The nitrogen-inhabiting loose organoforms of Skeuomorphia only grew their encompassing organ sack in their twelfth year. Before that, the predermists cascaded over the landscape, lungs and livers connected by external free floating veins and lymphatic systems."

April 2016

"Not only did he not know the secret, he also had no idea there was a secret to know, or even that such things as secrets existed. The secret itself, if he could have conceived of such a thing, was at least Disubive, if not Tri- or Polysubive."

April 2016

"The scientists, obsessed with the equitortic motions of organic lactation in papilla, had somehow invented a very precise equation for the perfect purple nurple."

April 2016

"His sprained ankle was merely the most obvious consequence of his afmisal dancing."

April 2016

"No one could accuse the insecure teenage boy of having a hypometerant penis."

April 2016

"In his species, the males roamed the surface looking for food, returning each night to their warm sufterress with offerings of flange worms and dangling cuckoldberries."

April 2016

"By decanting spinal fluid from genetically engineered pigs and inserting it in capsule form in the back of the afflicted elders, they were able to return them to a state of resophor."

April 2016

"The town aplexdrome, previously the courthouse, was run by an AI concerned with the A/B testing of legal policies in simulated environments, who measured the efficacy of each one across a wide spectrum of types of utilitarianism before applying them to the actual citizenry of the local city state."

April 2016

"Concerned by the behavior of her children, Dr Enthusia Sprig instituted a household rule of Total Nonvolity."

April 2016

"The City of the Book—almost totally unable to conceive of a world not focused around leaves, spines and binders—wrapped all studies of non-print-related activities into a startlingly underfunded Institute of Antypic Studies."

April 2016

"The subsectice device excelled at refiguring the human body painlessly so that each component limb was so loosely connected that it could be ripped off with minimal effort."

April 2016

"The Philosopher of Anfugeism contended that all moral and ethical dilemmas as well as many of the fundamental questions of epistemology and ontology could be resolved by running away as fast as humanly possible."

April 2016

"The celestial engines that worked to conmorize all remaining demigods were fueled by the self same excised energies and were instrumental in moving our universe to the purely humanistic energy state it operates at today."

April 2016

"The odds of getting out of this relationships alive—he thought to himself—were now definitely around an exfemtoor of a chance."

April 2016

"The elite college of linguists, keen to engage in humor that 'punches up' invented the verb exlideer to describe the process, only to discover—while sipping brandy in the drawing room—that there was no one above them to strike against."

April 2016

"He found, without continual intervention, the start-up's product development processes continued to macrcasen and lean towards the faddy and pointless."

April 2016

""Darling, don't eat that planet!" wailed the Gas Giant to her celestial brother-husband. "It is too late, my beautiful darling", he replied, "We knew this day might come." And with a guttural roar from the depths of his collapsing core, he finally started the process of adastering."

April 2016

"Some of the division's best operatives were slim, athletic men with fearful eyebrows and a love of fast women and guns. Others were hovering barely-sentient exterfeignant gas spheres that excelled in surveillance work in relatively calm climates."

April 2016

"In the end, to stop poor fingerless Jeffrey Joseph crying at every Eagle Scout meeting, they created a separate badge for dystrainors."

April 2016

"The Air Force's new hemiceptor aircraft perfectly fulfilled their original design brief, but unfortunately proved completely without value in the field."

April 2016

"After transforming herself into every shape she could imagine, she tried changing into various postmorphative abstractions - unfortunately rupturing the sanity of many nearby spectators."

April 2016

"His preploreancy would be a problem, she decided, and sat there waiting until he'd finally got all the rage and pain out of his system."

April 2016

"When the Nobel Laureate exploded during dinner, the newly bemagnose assistant thought to herself, "What a life!""

April 2016

"The presynade they chose that evening was a cherry alcopop, the perfect precursor to the dismal loss of virginity that followed."

April 2016

"The philosophers feared the inevitable coming of the Ultrasopher, a goat-shaped genius predicted in Plato's lost work, "You're All Buggered""

April 2016

""The honorable gentleman is not wrong as such", declared the Scottish Minister for Syllogistic Consistency. "He is merely ecorting with a vengeance!""

April 2016

"The Anglican version of the Confessional, the Offessory is a place in each British church in which members of the congregation carefully hide their feelings and never talk about what they've done or what is upsetting them."

April 2016

"The medicine of the Memetoforms is focused exclusively around exmemiatry - where memories are adjusted to remove the moments where an injury was occurred, thus immediately restoring the wounded part in the thoughtform of the previously injured sapient."

April 2016

"The intratomice was assembled by recursive nanobots and was effectively a knife that cut, then split in half along the blade revealing a similar knife that would cut again. Each previous blade, buttressed the previous one, allowing it to cut—at its most extreme end—distances in the planck range."

April 2016

"The new device cut infinitesimal apertures into space—time through which energy could leak that might give a hint of the efcosmial entities without."

April 2016

"The digors were developed for repetitive labour, and as a result had a tendency to do even the most basic of activities multiple times whether they intended to or not."

April 2016

"His dyfuseary teapot was perfectly designed to pour two cups of tea at the same time, which would have been wonderful if he ever had any visitors who wanted tea."

April 2016

"The parents—no longer able to remember a life before children—hired a Prepedoic Researcher to determine what such a theoretical state of being might have been like."

April 2016

"Religious doctrines regarding the use of knives on religious holidays were strictly enforced by the Obsecter General, who wielded a massive sledgehammer to punish any violators."

April 2016

"The sterility plague had caused the Great Sacs of Omphalos to assign a near religious quality to their offspring. Even money was measured in Oppedofuls - known as the state-sanctioned hypothetical volume of a child. It had to be state-sanctioned as most of the Sacs had never actually seen a child in the flesh. "

April 2016

"In retrospect, Jafith considered (while looking at the sculpture reconstituted from crushed mesopotamian art), electing the noted pronovile minister to the position of Omniversal Antiquarian may have been a mistake."

April 2016

"Studies of the later Pompostic indicate that Presiding Minister Flax's incredibly disastrous reign was only possible because of the dyscontric state of the period's politics."

April 2016

"Concepts of age were considered only relevant when the citizen's years of life were considered countable. Anyone who lived beyond the period's largest known number (approx 302 in modern counting schemes) was considered extroanticoite - an entirely new class of entity, afforded a wide new range of responsibilities and bizarre new rights."

April 2016

"While it is the piano that carries the tune, the piece requires an accompanyment of screaming and wailing from mutilated venture capitalists - a dyscatancy most pleasurable to the ears of the local citizenry."

April 2016

""While not perhaps the sexiest, He still was quite the exsciest, He'd been tasted - more than once - by all the minxes in the land..." (Fanto Barbarum, "The ballad of Cocksure Marmaduke")"

April 2016

"Although he was standing no more than a foot from the Prime Minister, his location-clock projected an ofinion feed that created the impression that he was standing several hundred meters away and was merely extraordinarily huge."

April 2016

"The process of shedding the infant skin was considered so horrific and disturbing to watch by the Quinquirreme that all children were placed in a soundproofed Comquintory on their fifth birthday and fed through a tiny slot until their genital plating had grown in."

April 2016

"As he removed his clothing carefully and gently—nervously glancing back towards her—she considered to herself the agamfold feelings she found herself experiencing for the first time."

April 2016

"The Monocot 3400 interrogation bot loosened the tongues of thousands of dissidents simply by sitting nearby objudiceously until they cracked from the pressure."

April 2016

"Inflation had put paid to the dollar store, but renaming it to Undersexable Items had seemed to draw quite the wrong clientele."

April 2016

"Each of their hands had two opposable fingers and they counted in base four, each order of magnitude in their counting system an alquader."

April 2016

"The hysterical stress of the period collided catastrophically with the sharp and brittle ribs of the Long-Fingered Fessicans. The populace started developing a habit of long bouts of anxious laughter, each of which risked in its fierceness the piercing of an organ or the breaking off of bones within the body. After a while, city centers were forced to create a wide variety of outridromes, where the vulnerable could walk somberly when they feared the fearful snapping that came with hilarity."

April 2016

"The art of somehow 'being' something without resembling that thing in any way was a particular skill of the Mimeographers. Their peers would sometimes pick up a teapot or drive a car only to later discover—much to their surprise—they had actually only been manipulating the fronds of an insimulable Mimeographer the whole time. Such experiences became a staple of humour in the period."

April 2016

"With a flash of lightning he transformed into his hero form - Sagittarius Omniflex - and, raising a fist in the air, exploded efstward in search of wrongs to right. GO OMNIFLEX!"

April 2016

"His mother was a terrifying woman - authoritarian, mercurial, prone to occasional low-level violence, but only inasmuch as it wouldn't leave a mark. But it was his father's ocriding glances that kept his spirit subdued the most - compounding as they did the over-riding sense that there was simply no space for jolity in the Frobisher household."

April 2016

"After the invention of the Mimeomitter, there had been an explosion in the distribution of information between the nine cities and—with its semi-anonymous nature—it was probably inevitable that eventually people would start talking about the Purge. Unfortunately, this brought the nascent movement directly into the sights of the Obcisecy Commission. "

April 2016

"Some held that in—the great times of the past—songs themselves had been caught like butterflies and pressed inside rectangles of metal and glass. Others said that talking itself had been captured and crushed under pressure into a form of oil that laid itself in lines across planks of wood little thicker than a hair. The divergent Church of Exbiblism believed none of these things, declaring themselves apostates of Elder Doctrine."

April 2016

"The Obclamor Gag - now available for only $16.99 from your neighborhood Silencio Imporia - is great for curtailing the protests of all manner of ne'er-do-wells from across the political spectrum, muffling even the very loudest of slogans, chants and screams. Law enforcement discount."

April 2016

"The discovery of multiple dimensions of time gave new meaning to deep history. New substances with additional temporal friction allowed people to slow their passage through linear time and without that momentum found themselves drifting deeper down the Y-axis of time. The underchroniest layer discovered in this process was documented as a low-energy grey environment, where little appeared to change and the native sentients ploughed through their lives, working and watching television - pausing only to drink and procreate sufficiently to propagate the species."

April 2016

"Only diascribor are acceptable for members of the upper echelons of society - oral communication and physical effort both being considered unspeakably vulgar. When an individual wants to perform an action, they formally declare their actions in exquisite penmanship on thick, creamy paper, carefully sign and fold the document, seal it with wax and hand it to someone who will make the activity happen—the only exceptions to the rule being actions required in the process of writing the diascribor in the first place. As years pass, even these activities are gradually being curtailed by competitive attempts at ever more exquisitely refined living."

April 2016

"The universe in question is of such singular vulgarity that the Council of Creators feels it has no choice but to vote for an immediate distheoal."

April 2016

""Desperate?", said James. "What on earth does 'desperate' mean? What kind of insane computer generated bullshit is a word like 'desperate'?""

April 2016

"Galactic standards regarding appropriate ways to restrain prisoners during processing are hereby declared inappropriate and counter-productive for the transtringitive slime moulds of Oolom."

April 2016

"Galactic standards regarding torture on the rack are hereby declared inappropriate and counter-productive when applied to the Transtendary Taffy People of E Longait."

April 2016

"The British Standard of Preoctance meant that it was considered unacceptable for the media to document any failing of the heir to the throne conducted before the age of eight."

April 2016

""What a desperate situation," said James, about his situation. "What a dreary thing to say," said Amelia, who knew much more interesting words. "